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Dearest Olivia, words quite literally can't describe how my heart is wrapped around yours. How you've changed me. What an angel you are. The cliche new mom's hear over and over is true. Time goes by in the blink of an eye. Sometimes when I watch you walking, running, JUMPING around, my breath catches in my throat as a memory of your tiny little hand wrapped around my fingers wisps through my mind. When I ask you how much I love you, you reply with "BIG!" Then we continue the conversation with me listing BIG things "bigger than the mountains!" and you saying "more!" But even the mountains and oceans combined can't give an accurate picture of this love. I heard a beautiful description today, of a mother's love, like a raging river with an endless source. Fierce, rushing, softly flowing, eddying, all depending on the day or the moment.
I like to try to list the things you've been up to in these letters, but you've been up to so much it seems impossible! You are talking a mile a minute. Sometimes it seems like you quietly talk to yourself to practice words. You seem to have conversations while you play with your toys and it is one of the cutest things. You can say short sentences now. I think one of my favorite things in the past two years is hearing you say a word for the first time. You LOVE to play with Daddy. Let's face it, you are still a Daddy's girl. When he comes home you get the biggest smile on your face, your eyes light up with joy and you run to him shouting "Daddy! Daddy!" so excited for him to pick you up and hug and kiss and squeeze you to death. You can count to ten, but sometimes forget 7. :) You are a good mama to your baby, your favorite baby is the "mall" (small) one. Even in these frigid temperatures we've had lately you love to be outside. You always want to put your boots on so you can walk in the snow. You point to the door and say "side." It's been a magical month with Christmas things. We saw Santa and now when you hear about him you say "ho, ho, ho" and "big mall" because that's where he was, and clearly where he lives according to you. You have a great memory, and often times will bring up Cade even when he's not here, because you remember doing something with him. You like to point out who/what is the mama, daddy and baby when you see animals in a book, people, snowmen, whatever. You have a big baby and a little baby and the big one is the mama baby :) You also like to say "one more" when we're reading books or watching Georgie, and you tell us how many of something there is, like "two houses", or "two chickies." I wish I could say you sleep through the night, but it's still not true. Maybe fifty percent of the time. Ah well, that's a big step forward! Maybe by the time you're three ;)
You are a great eater and your favorite is spaghetti "petti", followed closely by hot dogs and spoon fulls of grated Parmesan cheese. You love chocolate and thanks to the Christmas House you've been getting a lot of "coclit" and candy, but other than that you don't seem to have a huge sweet tooth. Not that you won't eat and love a cookie or cupcake, though ;) Speaking of the Christmas House, every day, even after you've checked behind that days door you will say "check house?" It's adorable, and you don't get sad when there isn't anything there anymore, which is good!
You're so passionate and determined. We hear lots of "me do dat" and "no help!" We're all working through the "no" stage, finding limits and balance. Sometimes it can be a little hard for everyone, but it's worth it. You are teaching me so much about myself and the world. I don't have straight A's, but I'm learning about patience and unconditional love and empathy, and when to just let go. At times, when you're tired and things aren't going well, when the clock is slowly ticking down the minutes to bedtime, I find myself looking forward to "me time", but the truth is, when I'm rocking and singing you to sleep, I sit there long after you've entered dream land, just so I can hold you, feel the weight of you in my arms, snuggle your perfect little body. Sometimes when I'm in bed I consider going to get your from your crib because I miss you. No matter how much, how often or how big we struggle, it will never cause me to stop loving you, stop wanting to be near you. This time we have, these little years, they will be fleeting. Soon enough there won't be piles of toys on the living room floor, there will be piles of clothes on your bedroom floor and make-up spilled on the bathroom counter. Soon enough I will catch my breath when a memory of you at age 6 enters my mind, while I listen to a 16 year old you talk about a math test. Being your mama is the most profound pleasure and privilege of my life. You can't know now, and you may never fully know, just how much you are loved, but I sure hope you can feel it every day. Happy Birthday, sweet love.
xoxo, Mama
PS. Stats: height-35" (78th precentile!); weight-28lbs (56th percentile); clothes: size 2T for most things; shoes-size 7; diapers-size 4; One 2 year old molar in, three to go. Our big girl!
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