Crossroads

Wednesday, March 2, 2016

Superheroes

Isn't the innocence of children astounding? How long can we protect that innocence and hold it dear? How long can we encourage a deep sense of wonder, a belief in things not seen, a hope that the impossible is actually possible?

A few days ago Olivia watched a Barbie movie (yes, Barbie) about spies. She was enamored! Barbies with disguises, magical powers, cool gadgets, and awesome tricks. Barbie to the rescue! After she was finished watching it, as she does with many movies or shows, she wanted to BE the movie. She wanted to put on a cape, practice flying off of the window seat, pretend to rescue someone. It was adorable, but somehow more than adorable. She was all in. At bedtime she told me she wanted to be a superhero when she grows up. And something in me felt compelled to tell her that superheroes aren't real. Of course I did it in a loving way, hoping not to make her sad, but no such luck. She was shocked, truly shocked, and then truly devastated. She cried and cried. She insisted she could already fly a little. She simply did not understand how something so wonderful could not be real. I was heart broken. Oh, if you could have seen her eyes and heard her voice. "Superheroes aren't real? But I want to be a superhero! Why can't I?"

Why did I tell her the truth? It's not as if I have this strong moral compass leading me to break down fairy tales and myths for her. We encourage the belief in Santa and even fairies! What was it about her wanting to grow up and be a superhero that gave me pause? I know she will be upset and possibly devastated upon learning the truth about Santa. I know she will one day stop looking for fairies. Was I trying to protect her actual body this time? Knowing she wanted to try to fly. Picturing a broken arm or bruised body? As soon as I said the words I regretted them. I wanted to give her back that piece of innocence. Which caused me to wonder. How long can and should we protect that? When do children need to know certain truths about fairy tales and magic? And beyond that, when do you introduce ugly reality that you WISH weren't real, but in the long run is important for your sweet, innocent little child to know? When watching Bambi, at what point do you explain the mean hunting dogs? When watching a documentary about penguins, at what point do you explain, rather than fast forward, the seals, the frozen babies, the hawks? Pain, death, the circle of life, the fact that cartoons aren't real?! Where is the balance between encouraging innocence and wonder and letting your kids become naive about reality? What will they find out on their own and what do they need help learning? Is there a magic age or situation? I know it's different for all children and parents and families. I know we will figure it all out, too. But goodness knows there is a big piece of me that would like Olivia's whole life, whole world to be one big, magical, flying animated movie!

Tuesday, March 1, 2016

Olivia Layne - 4 Years

Well my sweet, this post is a little late, I'm afraid. I've been thinking about writing it for quite a while, but how, oh how, can I capture the last year in a few paragraphs?! I'll tell you this-you are an amazing little girl. Or big girl, as you would correct me. You love to be measured and see how much you've grown. At your 4 year well child check up you weighed 38.7lbs (50th percentile) and were 42" tall (90th percentile). I simply can't believe how big you are! Of course your favorite leggings are a size three and are basically capri pants on you! You were hesitant to go to your check up, but I kept telling you that you liked it last year, and that they told me you wouldn't have to have shots until you are 5. You were still worried, but you did great. You are an excellent and healthy patient! As we left you exclaimed, "that was fun!"
You are an almost constant delight. You are hilarious in the things you say, the games you play, the songs you make up, the expressions on your face. I can't get over how smart, logical and perceptive you are. You love to pretend to write things and almost always write your name on everything, which you are great at doing. You still love, love, love dance class and gymnastics. Sometimes I ponder having you choose just one activity, but I think it would break your heart. You are very active and hardly ever seem tired. You started a sort of preschool this year at the vocational side of the high school. There is one main teacher, Ms. Parlin, and then 6 or 7 teenagers who teach/play with all the kids. You go two days a week for 1.5 hours a day and you seem to really enjoy it. At first you didn't play with any of the kids, just the teenagers, but lately you have made a couple of friends-Charlotte and Clara. I'm hoping maybe we can establish a consistent play date or two with these girls because I feel like even after 1.5 years since moving from Colorado and your friends at Nadxieli's, you are still lacking some special friendships and bonds. We shall see.
You love routine, even in the way you play things. You always play certain imaginative games the same way, and whenever anyone tries to play something differently you are NOT impressed. You get along much better with kids in the past several months. You are doing a great job of sharing your toys and others toys, and letting others play with you the way they want to play. You like to ask new friends at the library or wherever we are if they want to play, and if they don't you break into tears. You get very emotionally attached to people and things. You seem to really love physical affection from friends and always want to hug kids goodbye. You tell me when any friends asked to hold your hand or hug you, too, because it seems to make you happy.
You love to pick out your own outfits, almost always dresses. Sometimes they match, oftentimes they don't. You are too adorable with your style and I hope you can hold onto that creativity and flare in your personality with your clothes.
Daddy wouldn't be able to testify to it, but you have become very good at independent play when I have something to do. You will entertain yourself with toy tools, tiny books, coloring or drawing. The thing you do most often when I'm getting ready for the day or taking a little break is to play with Georgie. She used to bother you a lot more than she does now. You still push her away sometimes, but usually you tolerate her and even want to play with her often. You like to give her a salon, by pretend blow-drying her hair, brushing her and putting dog shampoo on her and reading to her. She is amazing with you, for which I'm so thankful. I love the bond you two are creating. When Daddy is home, on the other hand, you have a very hard time playing alone. You want to play with him every second of every day, and who wouldn't? He's amazing at playing! So we've got to keep working on giving him breaks :)
You really love to play with Cade, and when he says he'll play with you you get very excited. You play hide and seek, usually. The age difference is quite large, and I don't blame him for not wanting to play princesses, so I'm grateful for any time you two do spend together.
You learned how to fully stop using pull-ups about two weeks before your birthday! Good job, sweet girl. It wasn't an easy journey, but I'm proud of you for what you have accomplished. I'm proud of you for so many things. You are a quick learner, you are practicing patience, you are getting used to having grown-ups talk to you without you becoming a grumpy pants and saying you dot't want them to talk to you. You pay great attention in your dance and gymnastics class, and in preschool. You have shown kindness and empathy to other children, as well as being helpful with babies and littler kiddos. You are a great helper in the kitchen and in the carriage house, and I can see it makes you feel good to know you have been a good helper.
You LOVE to play with Georgie. She is amazing with you and your eyes light up when you play and snuggle with her. She is quickly becoming your dog!
You are truly the apple of my eye. I love being with you every day and watching you grow and become you. Thank you for being a teacher to me. I am certainly learning my limits, how to stay patient, and how to show empathy, all of which I need way more help with. Here's to year 5, my love. I am looking forward to every day with excitement and a full heart!
I love you so,
Mama