Five Minute Friday: Afraid

(I've recently discovered Lisa Jo words and she seems to speak my language in a lot of ways. She does this fun link up and I wanted to join in. Here you go!)



Afraid. Even the word conjurs up fear where there may not have been any before. Am I searching for fear just to add an element of drama to my life? Or is it already there, sometimes buried deep, waiting for some sort of trigger to uncover it, and sometimes right at the surface, threatening to spill over my life in the form of tears. As a new mom (well, I guess I can't claim "new" anymore now that my baby is 13 months!) it is EASY to get wrapped up in fear. Too many stories out there about things that can happen to babies. I have to turn off the news, block out the potential harm or I will be swallowed alive. Sure, I'm afraid something bad will happen to my baby, my family, my friends. Even myself. Thankfully that fear isn't consuming me at this time in my life. Lately I've been more afraid of my future. What will it look like? Will I make a difference? Will I be successful? Will I still be sitting at this same old desk in years, doing the same old job, feeling under-appreciated, under-paid, not making a difference? And if that is my fear, what can I do to change it? What do I WANT to do with my life? What do I WANT it to look like? HOW do I want to make a difference? HOW can I change it? That is the scary part. Not matter how many times I grumble or complain, I am comfortable. I know what my days will look like. I know my place. If I make a change...then what? I'm afraid I don't know.

Whoa! That was the fastest 5 minutes ever! My train of thought did not want to stop, but those are the rules. I'm already looking forward to next week :)