Thursday, February 26, 2009

Love and Marriage, Love and Marriage


(PS, how pretty does my hand look?! Trust me, it doesn't look like that now. Oh well.)


Marriage: the social institution under which a man and woman establish their decision to live as husband and wife by legal commitments, religious ceremonies, etc. (dictionary.com)

The article in the below post really got me thinking. So here are my totally scattered, probably incomprehensible thoughts. (aren't you glad you clicked on my blog today?)

"I personally support the measure, though I am not certain that I even support the government’s jurisdiction in such intimate spiritual matters like marriage to begin with."

Hmmm. So I got to thinking about my marriage. Well, not my actual marriage, but rather the legal piece of paper that recognizes Jeff as my husband and me as his wife. The act of saying "I Do." A piece of paper? Really? Does that seem strange? When we were applying for our marriage license I was really excited to get it and be declared husband and wife! But in light of Mr. Laituri's statement. What is marriage? It certainly has different meanings and connotations to different people and depending on your culture, heritage, etc. To me, though, it's a word for a love action. I would want to be united with Jeff forever regardless of if a piece of paper legalized it or not. Regardless of if the government, or even church recognized it. The most important thing in my mind is the fact that Jeff and I love each other with such a love that we desire to make it known to each other and our loved ones and we choose to commit to one another forever because of that love. Maybe our marriage license should just be a piece of paper signed by us and our families and/or friends. There are other important aspects that go along with the life decision, too, but nothing compares to the love involved.

Of course I realize that because the government is involved in who can and cannot get married, or be considered spouses, or whatever, there are certain benefits and rules that come along with that piece of paper. For example, we got an awesome tax break this year-YES! And on a more serious note, Social Security, medical and military benefits for spouses. These are great things. And the result of the laws that enforce such benefits are good. But should the government really get to tell you who can receive your social security, etc? Shouldn't you decide? And does it make any sense at all that I can receive benefits for Jeff, or I can make decisions for him, or we can adopt a child together, all because one of us is a man and one is a woman? And people who have loved each other and lived together for 25 years, committed and loyal and passionate, but are both men or both women can't?

So some are passionate about marriage being only between a man and a woman. Then there are some who think "civil unions" are fine. Let homosexuals receive all the same benefits that heterosexuals do, but by golly don't let them take the word "marriage." Really? The word is the problem? Everything can be equal except the actual term? Really?

I realize this post is all over the place, from my idea of what marriage is, what marriage is defined as, who should be allowed to be married, to benefits of marriage. I feel pretty strongly about this issue, but I'm not great at getting my thoughts together well. Love is so important to me. Life would be nothing without it. And now that I've found Jeff, the other half of me; my heart, I'm even more passionate about love. I want everyone to have it, everyone to give it, everyone to receive it! And if they then want to demonstrate it in what we call "marriage" then I want them to be able to! And if there are benefits that come along with marriage then I want everyone to get those! The article just got me to thinking, I guess. Lucky you ;)

http://blog.sojo.net/2009/02/26/the-sad-state-of-dialogue-on-civil-unions/

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