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Thursday, July 21, 2011

Holding onto worry

Preparing to bring a child into the world comes with it's own set of unique fears. I already worry a bit to much about life in general, I already worry about Cade and even Jeff. And now I worry about a myriad of things that come with a new baby. Let's just be honest, though...one of my silliest and yet most prominent fears is not knowing how to HOLD my own little baby! Last night I went to a friends house to see her new 3 day old baby girl. Madeline was 6.5lbs when she was born but down to 6 yesterday. Needless to say she was a tiny little thing. Nicole went to put her in my arms (after I freaked out and said I'd better sit down. as if I'm 6) and I had no idea how to position my arms to cuddle the little thing. Nicole had to instruct my to relax my arm so that my elbow wasn't all askew leaving a giant hole for the baby to fall right through. Of course she was so easy and gracious when she suggested I just relax my arm, not like "what the heck are you doing? haven't you ever held a baby before you ridiculous woman!?" All the same, I fear that holding and taking care of something so small and fragile (although Jeff tells me over and over again that they aren't that fragile-and I say back to him, well just pretend they are!) is so unnatural for me that I'll mess up. Nicole even reassured me that she is the same way with other people's babies, but it comes more naturally when it is your own. Isn't she so sweet? I sure hope she's right. I'd better visit Madeline more often to get more practice! And I won't even go into my more logical fears. I don't want to put those into the universe! Oh boy, what are we getting into? I can't wait, though!

5 comments:

Ashley said...

oh ter! i love it! your own is so different...albeit it still can be awkward because they are so stinkin tiny...so don't freak out if you still think it is hard! Just think though, each day they get sturdier and sturdier! :) I am soooooooooooo excited for you!!!!

Andrew and Anneke said...

Hey! You are looking SO good! Know that all the mothering instincts WILL kick in; and babies are super durable and forgiving : ) You are going to do a great job- give yourself lots of grace!

Brandon said...

I sympathize with you...I was JUST as nervous as you are...but trust me, with your own it is totally different. I am still awkward with other babies - but with Clara I never felt that way! Congrats!

Kim said...

Nicole is right. I felt the same way about holding other people's babies before I had my own. I would also sit down and give him/her back to their parents after like 2 minutes for fear of doing something wrong! But, like others have posted, it will feel more natural when they are your own. Lucy was 4.5 lbs and Claire was 5 -- super tiny. I almost worried more about the dr's and nurses handling them so "roughly" than myself or Brent! But, everyone reassured me about how strong and resilient they are and it's true :-) You are already a wonderful Mom to Cade and Mommy to your little one and I totally believe you are going to do an amazing job when he or she arrives! Love you!

mom said...

It's weird how unnatural it feels with other people's babies, and how natural it feels with your own. Hormones can be a wonderful thing. :-)